Carrie Lamanna

practicing the art of resistance writing

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A list of things well-done

April 27, 2014 By Carrie Lamanna

I know many of you are like me and each morning compile and impossible to do list and then beat yourself up when you don’t complete every task on the list. I’ve discovered there are two problems with these lists:

  1. They are totally unrealistic. You will never get done everything you want. Unexpected tasks will arise during the day. Scheduled tasks will take longer than you think they will. A child will get sick or have an afternoon filled with tantrums instead of naps or a friend will have a crisis and need your help—in other words life will happen.
  2. They never include some of the most important things. Time spent talking with friends or colleagues that rejuvenates your mind and spirit. Time spent playing with your children or connecting with a parent, sibling, or partner. Time for spiritual activities such as prayer or meditation or journaling.

If we accomplish everything on our lists, but do it at the expense of family, friends, health, and happiness, then what sort of goal did we achieve? As Vishen Lakhiani tries to remind all of us, we shouldn’t confuse means goals with ends goals. If what we are doing during our days isn’t helping us lead better lives, then we need to reevaluate our priorities.

I want to help break this cultural obsession with work and productivity by writing a list of accomplishments each week instead of a list of impossible tasks to be done. I want that list to include not only work tasks and home tasks like laundry but also time spent with family, friends, and myself.

I want my list to affirm my humanity and not my productivity level.

So here it goes. This week I

  1. started this blog. That seems pretty important.
  2. read books to Vincent whenever he asked, no matter what I was doing at the time.
  3. didn’t spend all weekend doing laundry.
  4. finished a work project that had been on my agenda for a full year. You read that right—a full year.
  5. remembered to water the garden.
  6. remembered my grandmother Lucia while making her Easter pies and spaghetti sauce for Sunday dinner.

Vincent with books

On writing, courage, and showing up

April 27, 2014 By Carrie Lamanna

spring flowersThis new blog, this new life has been in the works for what seems like years now. And maybe it has been years, a lifetime even. At the start of each week for the past two months I would tell myself that this was the week. I would write my first post this week. Then I would get overwhelmed with work, kids, laundry, the need for 15 damn more minutes of sleep. And then I would convince myself I wasn’t ready.

The kitchen needed cleaning.

That stack of papers needed grading.

The kids needed attention.

My husband needed…oh wait, I needed that too.

Most of the time though, what stood in my way was others’ needs. Sometimes those needs were real and other times they were needs I exaggerated in my mind as an excuse to be busy, to avoid the hard, personal task of digging deep and launching what will be the greatest (in both senses of the word) change in my life. But last Friday I was seized by the feeling that this coming week, Easter week, was indeed, really and truly this time, the week.

Easter is for me what New Year’s Day is for others. I’ve never liked New Year’s with all its emphasis on resolutions. The idea that we can make a list and suddenly become new people who get up early, exercise, eat right, never get angry, and always do the right thing (you know, be perfect) always seemed hollow to me. Easter and its place in spring is a much better representation of change for me. Seeds and plants that have been dormant all fall and winter, storing up energy, emerge as tiny, seemingly delicate green shoots. But these shoots have been preparing many months for this day, and they survive late-season snow, the weight of human feet, the furious digging of squirrels, and countless other forces that conspire against their survival. This blog is like the birth of a child or the arrival of a spring seedling—it has been gestating for many months to be ready for this day. And like my garden and my children, I did not choose this moment. It chose me. It whispered,

you are ready, even if you do not feel it yet. Everything has been preparing you for this day. Have courage.

This blog isn’t perfect, and that is O.K. Perfection is not the goal. Sharing, honesty, and showing up even when I don’t feel ready. Those are the goals. And so I write. For me and for you. And I wish you the joy of rebirth and renewal today and throughout this season. The long, hard winter is over.

 

 

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